“Are you coming or should I give it to others?” That fortuitous metaphor came to my fingers as I was typing to let you reply the previous supplication. There came fantasies, of course, that intrude me to hope for rendezvous. There came brave, shame, excitement, and despair in the words I rolled to you… that I wondered if you ever noticed.
The purest meaning of that question could be, “Hi, I’m waiting with the hope of your presence. Would you come to see me?” But it was always unsaid as simple as that, just like the consummate love I gave at the end of our forthright opportunity.
Malam itu, ada seorang teman yang tiba-tiba mengontakku dan bertanya, “Kir, kenapa kamu suka paus?” Tidak ada yang istimewa sampai pada akhirnya aku tahu—belum pernah ada seseorang yang menanyaiku tentang mengapa aku menyukainya. Sebelumnya, aku hanya menyukai ayam. Hal itu pun sepertinya terjadi karena aku adalah fans besar dari Piyo-piyo, seorang anak ayam—atau bebek, yang menemani masa kecilku dalam bentuk hiasan dinding yang ditempel di balik lemari. Bahkan, karena suka melihat bentuk dan warnanya, aku memiliki dua boneka kecil yang kunamai Hilus dan Kuki.
“I like you, but I hate the fact that I like you.” I delayed that words out of my lips for around 5 minutes. I was thinking about the best prologue, but then it came without it. And for that reason, I hoped it wouldn’t be judged as pathetic since it was said by a 21 years old girl.
“But I like him too.” It was other false words. It shouldn’t have been said. It was something I didn’t think I would say to anyone. Why in front of you every complexity felt like it had to be told?
“When I see her, I see you. When will all the relatedness come to an over?” I whisper quietly to myself, wondering if I could get a way out of this chain. I think I have come to an end, but here the new false hope just begin.
It’s clearer that I never forget you. It’s so sure that I already reached my anomaly in loving people we can’t have. It’s so beautifully pathetic knowing that the love comes with unregretfulness. May the love rest undiscovered in one’s heart.
You'd better careless, I'd better never known.
Let me see your intention, I'll get you attention.
Don't let me done with only hope and bleeding heart.
Please, be brave, my heart, cause you will get through the wildest.